Many people believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. Judaism believes in the strength and importance of joy. However, happiness is not a goal, but a way of living life. We don't run after happiness, because those who chase it only end up moving away from it. Happiness is obtained through our attitudes and our way of seeing life and how we live in this world. Let's see how Judaism and some of our Sages see happiness and what path they recommended we take to achieve it.
Happiness and joy constitute a Mitzvah, a commandment of the Torah. Several of its verses clearly command humans to serve G‑d with joy. The Baal Shem Tov – founder of the Chassidic Movement – taught that it is through joy that human beings truly serve G-d. One of his fundamental teachings was the need for a person to always be happy and joyful.
We found in Tanakh the idea that joy was a prerequisite for a prophet to be able to prophesy. For example, when King David wanted to prophesy, he asked for musical instruments to be played to lift his spirits. On the other hand, the prophecy stopped falling on our Patriarch Jacob during all the years in which he lived immersed in melancholy due to the absence of his son Joseph.
Joy is, therefore, a fundamental element of Judaism. On the other hand, Kabbalah teaches that if happiness were the goal of life, our soul would not make the journey to this world, as it would be much happier in the World of Souls, where there is no suffering or worries.
Our purpose in this world is not the pursuit of happiness, but it is certainly part of our mission to bring happiness to other people. In fact, this is where the secret of true joy lies. We are truly happy when we can make other people happy.
Happiness versus Fun
It is important to emphasize that there is a huge difference between fun and happiness. Fun is something fleeting and without much consistency. Happiness, on the other hand, is an internalized and quite strong feeling. Fun, for example, could be spending a day at an amusement park; An example of happiness is looking into the eyes of a loved one.
In Judaism, happiness is not synonymous with passivity: it does not mean lying in a hammock without having to face challenges. True happiness is obtained through struggle, pain and achievements. It is a state of mind that helps us achieve our goals: it gives us strength and makes us more agile, leading us to do things with more desire.
And it is worth highlighting that happiness requires a good dose of humility. In many cases, an arrogant person does not allow themselves to be happy because they believe that everything they have received in life is very little. An arrogant person is never satisfied, as they believe they deserve more and should be valued even more than they are. Happiness, therefore, is knowing how to enjoy and appreciate what is given to us.
The doors of our mind
First of all, we must know that being happy is a feeling that depends on us – on our mind, our attitudes and our feelings. If our happiness depends on external factors or other people's moods, it will be very difficult for us to be happy. It is undeniable, however, that people and external factors have an influence on our state of mind. How can we prevent them from affecting our happiness? A famous Chassidic story teaches how to deal with such challenges:
A certain person was having a very difficult time dealing with his problems. She couldn't keep calm – she was always distressed and worried. One day, she went to her Rebbe to ask for advice on how to deal with her state of mind. The Rebbe told him, “Travel to such a city and look for such a rabbi. There you will find the answer you are looking for.” Despite the harsh winter, the man made a long journey to reach the rabbi's house. Outside the house, she noticed that the rabbi was sitting in front of the fireplace.
The man, feeling very cold, knocked on the door of the house repeatedly, but no one opened the door. Finally, after a while, the rabbi opened the door and invited him in. He served him a hot drink and left his guest at ease until he warmed up. The traveler, who had come so far to find an answer to his torments, before addressing the issues that afflicted him, asked the rabbi: “I noticed that you were at home while I was knocking on the door. I would like to understand why it took so long to open and allow me in.” And he replied, “I didn't open the door before because it's my house and I open the door only when I want. Now you can go home: it was to learn this lesson that you came to me.”
This famous Chassidic story conveys an important lesson: each of us has the power to choose when to open our doors. Metaphorically, we hold the key to our mind and heart in our hands – we can choose who and what we let in. We must not allow negative people, negative words, negative thoughts, problems and external pressures to enter our mind and heart and destroy our happiness. If they enter our heart, it is because we allow them to enter. We have the keys to our happiness.
It is worth mentioning that the Hebrew word Besimcha, “with joy” has the same words as the word Machshavá, "thought". We must not allow problems to dominate our thoughts and take away our serenity. Thinking about a problem constantly will only bring anguish instead of solutions. We can also choose not to listen to everything they tell us.
We have the power to open our doors only when we want. This means that there is no need to interrupt what we are doing – a family dinner, a class or a special occasion – every time the phone rings or we receive a message on our cell phone.
As we master our mind and our time, we achieve more happiness. So, when we talk about happiness, we are talking, above all, about
control of our mind, our feelings and our ability to maintain an active and proactive stance. But controlling the mind and our feelings depends – like any other skill acquired in life – on training. It is through controlling our mind that we become stronger and happier.
Laugh and Cry at the same time
There was one Hasid called Amber Peretz who prayed in a unique way: he cried with one eye and smiled with the other. Friends asked him how it was possible to cry and be happy simultaneously. Amber Peretz replied to them: my joy comes from my awareness of the greatness of G-d; The source of my tears is my awareness of my defects and failures. O Zohar, a fundamental book of Kabbalah, explains in depth these two feelings simultaneously expressed by Amber Perez. He teaches that joy comes from being close to Gd and tears from the fact that human beings are fallible.
Amber Peretz taught us an important lesson: that even when praying, one of the eyes can be used to allow the person to reflect on their actions and themselves. Through the simultaneous expression of these apparently antagonistic feelings, Amber Peretz demonstrated how to improve character with joy. He saw his weaknesses, but he didn't allow them to make him unhappy. Human beings experience this conflict continuously. On the one hand, we see our good side – our Divine soul – and we rejoice in the privilege of being able to do good and help others. On the other hand, every human being has flaws and defects and has difficulty seeing them and freeing themselves from them. Doing a sincere self-evaluation requires a lot of strength and courage, as genuine self-reflection leads us to see in ourselves a series of flaws, mistakes and character defects.
The person who loves G-d and seriously reflects on himself, accepts his defects with joy knowing that these are challenges that G-d gave him. She feels joy because she knows that part of her life mission is to grow and self-correct. If she can identify what needs to be worked on and improved, this will serve as a springboard for her growth. From this perspective, failures are not seen as weaknesses, as the person who has faith in G-d knows that they have been given the ability to face such a challenge and prevail.
Therefore, the joy of being able to see your own defects is not a contradictory feeling. The human being who lives with this perspective and does this type of self-reflection will never be an unhappy person. Because when you recognize your weaknesses and repent for your actions, your crying will be an expression of joy. On the other hand, the human being who fears seeing his defects or who believes that he does not have the power to change and grow will certainly be an unhappy person.
It is important to try to understand our defects. It's very easy to analyze and see other people's flaws. However, seeing the defects of other human beings is not our mission in life. Our mission is to face our own failures and weaknesses and use them as the necessary impetus for our personal growth. Rabbi Yosef Yitzhak Schneerson – the sixth Lubavitch Rebbe, known as the Previous Rebbe – taught that admitting our faults is a Mitzvah, but recognizing our qualities constitutes a Mitzvah even bigger.
Rectification
Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, brings in his writings a very beautiful concept about sin and happiness. He writes that the very fact of knowing that even when we make mistakes, G‑d always gives us another chance is, in itself, a great source of joy. In other words, knowing that it is always possible to change our situation and ourselves is a great source of joy.
Each person can, in a joyful and positive way, change their way of being or living: they can choose to take another path. It is joy itself that gives us the strength to change and grow and thus transform our situation. Therefore, joy is the feeling that leads a person to rectify themselves.
Trust in G-d
The story is told of a great rabbi who found himself in a very difficult situation. Both he and his students had nothing to eat or drink, but while the students cried, the rabbi sang. The students did not understand their master's attitude. They asked the rabbi: “How can you sing in the midst of this difficult situation?” He replied: “My students have reason to cry because they expect me to get them out of this situation. They placed their trust in me. I, on the other hand, am happy and joyful because I trust in G-d.”
This story teaches us that our joy and tranquility depend on our choice of who to trust. When we trust human beings, who are fallible – when we expect them to solve our problems or be the key to our success – we will always have a reason to cry. But trusting G-d means living happily. The human being who truly trusts in Gd has good reasons to live with joy, because the one who believes that Gd can change a difficult situation and, in the blink of an eye, starts to live with more peace of mind. Trust in G-d gives us the ability to reduce worry, which is so harmful and destructive.
But trusting G-d doesn't just mean praying. Every person needs to work and pursue their goals, for G‑d blesses our efforts. As the Torah teaches, G-d blesses the work of our hands. That is, human effort is the means that attracts Divine blessings.
It is necessary to strive to solve problems, but with the joy and tranquility that come from trusting in G-d. Therefore, even in moments of frustration or worry, it is possible to be happy. This is the idea of crying with one eye and laughing with the other, simultaneously.
Obtaining Happiness
On one occasion, Rabbi Yosef Yitzhak Schneerson – the sixth Lubavitch Rebbe – wrote a letter to a person who needed encouragement to be happy. He wrote: “Be as cheerful as you would be if your problems had already been solved.” In other words, live with the joy you would if these problems no longer existed. When one lives with faith in G-d that all problems will be resolved, it is possible to live with tranquility and joy.
The following story is told about an uncle of the Lubavitch Rebbe: he owned a sheep farm that, on one occasion, was destroyed by fire. As he was already an elderly man, people were afraid to inform him that his farm had been destroyed. But when he found out what happened, he remained calm. Surprised by his reaction, people asked him how he had managed to remain calm. And he replied, “In a year or two, it won't bother me anymore. It will be part of my past and I will continue to live my life. Why then should I spend a year or two being upset and allow this feeling to consume me, to paralyze my life, if I can now look forward?”
It is natural that certain situations in life make us sad, frustrated and angry. But our problem is that, in many cases, we forget the good and only remember the fires in our lives. Our problems consume us for many years – even after they have been resolved long ago.
In most cases, what concerns us so much today – the issues that seem so important today – will pass and we won't even remember them. So why suffer so much over something temporary? Why allow such matters to fill our minds and feelings? Why not follow Rebbe Yosef Yitzhak's advice and act today as if our problems have already been solved? Why take years to overcome a situation that can be overcome in the present?
A person who only focuses on the things that went wrong in their daily lives – and not on everything that went right – will be an unhappy person. Someone who puts themselves in situations that are harmful to them will be unhappy. And when we condition our happiness on some external factor – winning the lottery or getting the job of our dreams – happiness becomes difficult to achieve. It is wrong to spend your life waiting for happiness.
True happiness does not depend on external situations, but on the ability to live a life that leads to happiness. This means choosing to see the good in our everyday lives; it means putting yourself in positive situations; It means, above all, choosing to be happy. Happiness is acquired from the moment you create the space for it to grow and develop. When a human being has a positive and happy attitude, he naturally becomes a happier person. When a human being replaces a negative vision with a positive one, he opens himself up to joy and positive changes in his life.
Rebbe Yosef Yitzhak gave us a valuable lesson to avoid problems and worries: by focusing on the good and the positive, directing our emotions towards the good, we will be able to live as if what ails us has already been resolved. Through joy and happiness, it becomes possible to transform ourselves and transform our lives.
Joy and spirituality
It is written in our holy books that joy is the vessel for spirituality. That is, prayers are heard and Mitzvot have their desired effect if we pray and fulfill G-d's commandments with joy.
When one prays out of mere obligation, there is no way of knowing whether the effects of the prayer will last. But when this prayer is accompanied by a feeling of joy and happiness, this prayer will be valid for many generations. This also applies to Mitzvot.
All Mitzvah that is done with joy is perpetuated throughout generations. When Judaism is practiced happily, it becomes much easier to pass it on to the next generation. When parents comply with Mitzvot With joy, they pass on to their children the idea that Judaism attracts blessings, peace and happiness. This encourages children to follow the same spiritual path as their parents. On the other hand, if the ceremonies and rituals of Judaism are practiced grudgingly – amid arguments and discord – children may come to associate the practice of Mitzvot the opposite of happiness, and this can cause them to distance themselves from their spiritual heritage.
It is interesting to note that the word moshiach – the personification of salvation – has the same letters as the word Simcha - happiness. It is written, therefore, that the “savior” that dwells within us is joy itself. According to Judaism, joy is the expression of the essence of our soul.
O Lubavitcher Rebbe He always emphasized the importance of living with joy. He taught that in our generation there is no room for bitterness, melancholy or sadness. Today, there is only room for joy and happiness. And there is no greater joy than generating it in other people's lives.
Rabbi Gabriel Aboutboul is rabbi of the Ipanema Synagogue in Rio de Janeiro and speaker